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Hi. I'm Craig. You probably know that already because you stupidly followed ABOUT -> CRAIG. There's not a lot to know about me but for those with the inclination I'll elaborate anyway...
I never knew my real parents, having been abandoned in the musty woodland locale of Nottingham Forrest shortly after birth. Fortunately I was happened upon by a band of nomadic wolves travelling under the assumed name of The Pilkington Boys Choir. During my upbringing they taught me numerous skills, including the invaluable ability to throw knives; a technique that saved my life on more than one occasion during my tenure with the SAS (but that's another story).
It's also a little-known fact that I travelled back in time purely to invent the process of canning foodstuffs. Of course this in itself necessitated the invention of time travel, a feat I achieved by swimming through space in a hyper-accelerated backstroke style and using the sun's gravity to slingshot myself through an anomaly in the space-time continuum. Even then I had to pioneer the technique of holding my breath for 9 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 1 hour and 42 seconds whilst continuously weaving in and out of harmful UV rays, all the while rubbing my hands together rapidly enough to keep my body warm in the freezing vacuum of space. But that's another story...
On a more contemporary (and perhaps less spurious) note, I am actually the inventor of Rumbongo; The Finest Alcoholic Fruit Drink Known To Man Or Beast. This is the single and therefore proudest achievement I have made in 20-odd years of Earth habitation, although I like to think the first ten or so don't really count in these matters. My rudimentary statistics are as follows:
- I am male
- I was born in July of 1979
- I am six feet something tall
- I really like hot Ribena
- I do not keep bees
- I hold a respectable job in fashion retail
You now know probably as much as anyone else about me. If I have neglected to mention anything you may have been interested in having heard Chinese whispers in the street or vicious rumours down the coffee shop (no I didn't touch up those boys, before you ask) you may feel free to mail me at the address provided along with any of my reviews. Alternatively, pop on over to www.disko.org.uk for photographic evidence of many a lewd and libidinous activity.
Thank you for entertaining my rampant and preposterous rantings. I bid you a fond farewell, Dear Reader.